“…while the right to exercise one’s individuality is granted, it remains an aberration, a departure from the way one ‘should’ act. The journey into one’s own dark side has been considered but not yet taken. We still seek to eliminate rather than acknowledge the ‘negative’ parts of ourselves, believing the purpose of the journey to be the attainment of perfection. We have yet to learn what we can only know from the other side of the gulf—that wholeness is a far more precious gift than perfection” (Daloz, 1986, p.153).
Ok—so this is the story of Emerald, and a look at how the educational journey relates to the mythological quest of the hero. Since this is the last post for the blog, I will also attempt to synthesize my personal educational path with Daloz’s work. The story of Emerald will not be too difficult to tell, but my own--- well I am still not sure where this will go. So please join me for what will unfold.
Part I of the Conclusion Blog
Emerald, one of twenty students Daloz mentored for an external degree program was widowed, thirty-five years of age, and worked as a bookkeeper in her brother’s business. In order to discuss and design her program, Daloz met Emerald in a New England diner, in the midst of winter. He said the country side was snow covered as he traveled to the Come and Eat roadhouse cafĂ©. “…The road and frozen river danced together as I glided past overgrown pastures scored from time to time with the tracks of snowmobiles” (Daloz, p.4). Emerald, according to Daloz was “shy” but when she did speak she demonstrated confidence and conviction in her tone. Like many adult learners, she wanted to improve her occupational opportunities and eventually become a CPA. Originally, she participated in office skills and business courses; however, for the external degree program some liberal arts courses were required.
Larry Daloz studied the expertly typed list that Emerald had constructed which detailed the classes she had chosen and the reasons for doing so. Next to each business class, she listed a liberal arts course—“data-processing and archeology,… budgeting with the Old Testament, business law and poetry, insurance and dance” (p.5). The mentor felt dazzled by the stark dichotomies within Emerald’s list.
“Why these subjects? Why that order? It baffled and fascinated me at once…..Then I noticed her one liberal study course thus far-a death and dying course she took last term. How could I have forgotten?” (Daloz, p.6) When he asked her what she felt about that course, Emerald shrugged it off “Oh, fine.”
After the mentor guided Emerald toward a deeper disclosure with a few more questions, Emerald finally concluded that she didn’t need to grieve anymore although the others in her class did, and that she wanted to go back to school to be more herself, and so she would not be “getting jerked around so much by other people, not always worrying about what they think of me” (p.7).
The Search for Meaning as a Motive for Learning is the title of the chapter in which we discover Emerald. Her narrative is brief in comparison to Eric and Anne’s, and the chapter serves as an introduction to the core of the book. On the last page of the chapter, the writer summarized a primary purpose for his research “…those questions….I found the outlines dimly swimming somewhere in the space between me and nearly every film or novel I encountered, each story I read to my children, every conversation with my students; they began to fuse into a single deeper question: What is my place in the growth of those I care for?” (Daloz, p. 15)
Daloz’s work is deep and shows a remarkable caring for his students. He reflects on his own purpose, and he questions the effects of the transitions and transformation that often accompany adult learning. The transitions which sometimes lead to shake up in family structure, sometimes divorce, changes in occupation, and usually a dramatic shift in the way one sees herself and the world.
Part ii Conclusion Blog
My educational path has been through traditional institutions--community colleges and universities, and I feel that the external degree program with the mentorship would have been an enjoyable opportunity. The book was written twenty-four years ago, and I am on the side of those theorists that believe that time has accelerated, that time is accelerating at a faster and faster pace. Our world including our educational system often feels cluttered with too many things to do and too little time to do them. To slowly sip coffee at a diner with a mentor or to reflect on not killing a deer while conversing with one’s teacher in moments of compassionate enlightenment at the workplace seem more like excerpts from a novel than actual events that could occur within this world of accelerated time.
The tone of this book is close to the gentle openness revealed by Palmer (2007) in Courage to Teach. Both authors step back and reflect on the subjective aspects of the student – teacher relationship. Much discussion is on the transformative nature of learning—not merely about skill building, but about the changes that one experiences while letting go of what once seemed solid and sure.
I am a very non-traditional learner in that I completed my bachelors after having worked for several years as a holistic healer (body-worker, CMT)another eight years as a Certified Nurse’s Assistant and in –between these as a full time parent and part-timer in an assortment of interesting and sometimes very boring work situations. So with all that said, you can guess I am well over twenty-five in age. Like Emerald, I struggle to find a balance between that which seeks soul growth and creative expression through poetry and art, and staking a claim in economic certainty through improving my occupational skills. Like Eric, I am reluctant “to spill my guts in public” and like Eric I would much rather look the deer in the eyes and let him run into the woods than put him on the wall as a hunting trophy. With Anne, I share some aspects of feeling pressured when speaking with those who present themselves as unwavering authorities such as Anne’s Harvard educated male relative.
Daloz reminds us in his book that as we grow through our learning experiences we may rely less on authority, and that a lifting of the veil occurs—that both challenges our naivetĂ©, and unlocks a deeper level of our own psyche. The writer relates the transformative tale of the mythic hero as told by Joseph Campbell--“The mythic movement from an old, familiar land into the darkness of the nether world and back home” (Daloz, p.25).
As I move toward the final semester of this master’s program, I feel that I have descended into that nether world more than once; I surface with new information and new tools to navigate once familiar terrain. Hopefully, within the program we are all one another’s Virgil (mentor) at one time or another. I am stopping here so I can go back to reading your stories.
Best--- Ann Courtney